Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
