I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
