You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
