Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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