Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
