im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
