I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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