just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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