The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
