you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
