Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
soo... how was my night?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
