porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
