So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
