mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
