Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
