you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize