garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
