people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize