it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
