Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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