He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
