i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
