Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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