I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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