I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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