we made out on top of his cat.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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