yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
what day is it and did you see me today?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
