Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
