the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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