i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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