Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
