The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
