Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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