Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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