I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
