Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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