We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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