I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
