We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry