Plan B is the new Plan A
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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