I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
