Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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