This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
