how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
