had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
