I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
