Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
