his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
