sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
