I wanna bring you to show and tell
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
