tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I should be sponsored by Trojan
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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