no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
