oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
