So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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