I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
