Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
