he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
