brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
babies were throwing up all over the place
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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