been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
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I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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