Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
