he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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