i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
