I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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