From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
