Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
