im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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