So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
