plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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