Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize