Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
