Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize