oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize